Philosophy Will Not Save You
Dear fellow students of philosophy–
Books are not a substitute for the work of reading your soul.
I stopped reading philosophy books all of last year and a little bit before that. I had just moved out of state with my mother from my hometown and embarked on a new life. Up to that point, I had spent two years at home during the coronavirus lock-down reading philosophy and self-help books to pass the time and distract myself from near crippling depression.
With the opportunity to both reinvent and find myself in a new place, I decided to amass new experiences, to be more present in my life, and to experiment with philosophical concepts I had learned on the real world. In doing so, my excessive reading of philosophy books waned over time–until it ceased to be a hobby altogether. Which, if you had known me, was very much out of character. And yet it was the best thing that could have happened for my development.
When I stopped reading philosophy books and focused on the life in front of me, I found the love of my life, made friends with people of all kinds, traveled and saw more of the world, overcame long-standing fears and–for the first time in nearly a decade–I felt genuinely happy. Try as I might, no amount of Rand, Nietzsche, or Kant could have engendered such a transformation alone in my room. I did not realize then that I was in a vacuum reality where no external stimuli could interact with nor challenge the ideas I held to be true. In order to truly know myself, I had to live. I had to read and study my own soul. I meditated, journaled, cried, tried and failed, confided my hopes and fears, observed my patterns, and disciplined the unruly parts of myself. It was only then that my life started to make sense.
Despite how it may seem, I do not regret the time I spent studying some of the greatest thinkers in history. It would be foolish to not stand on the shoulders of giants. They provided valuable tools of introspection that anyone can use to traverse the landscape of their own minds. Where I caution people, however, is relying too heavily on truths tailored to the unique consciousness of the people that formed them. Philosophy, in its truest and most useful form, is a supplement to the wisdom gained through experience and self-generated introspection.
After taking this extended break from reading philosophy books, I have taken the hobby back up again this year. The difference between then and now is that I do not read as a maladaptive form of escapism. I read to supplement the themes I am already ruminating on. I get to see a concept through another angle of perception, test those ideas, and integrate what resonates most with me. I find now that the relationship I have with the author and their words is much more nourishing. I appreciate and gain more insight from their work as it was intended.
Philosophy will always be one of my loves. I would even say I love it more now that I have a healthier relationship with it. I would not be writing this otherwise. But the lesson in this is that even a good thing can be a stumbling block if it is used improperly. Even all the wisdom in the world can be spoiled by a heavy hand.
The Ibis Letter